I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
