I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
