And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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