Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
