I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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