shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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