he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
