She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
