You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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