Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
