I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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