Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
