...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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