i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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