he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
