elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
