I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Randomize
