I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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