Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
