do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
