i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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