Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
