You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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