if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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