help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
