I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
