Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
she smelled like a LAN party
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
