i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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