He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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