Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
