My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It's blow job season.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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