Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Randomize
