You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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