'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
