I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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