I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
