My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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