He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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