cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
