I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
