I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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