Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize