Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he shaved USA in his pubs
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
