remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
