she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
