My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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