Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
