I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
