Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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