ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Randomize
